Burning Hair = Displeased Samie

It turns out it's not such a good idea to try to flat iron your fake hair extension.. It really brought back the traumatic memories of burning my actual hair.. There I was, innocently molding a man out of some play dough and exhorting information from him at birthday-candle-point, and as I lean over the lighted candle, my hair drapes over it...wow. I've never smelt such a smell nor done such a silly panic-dance. Panic at the disco was wrong; it's not time to dance. And, umm, admittedly this happened like two years ago...

Also, I want you to say this out loud. Go on, do it: Post-apocalyptic Pocahontas.
She's out for your blood along with the soul of the world. You shouldn't have made fun of her for thinking corn was gold.

Obama luuuvs his root beer

Getting a tax return is like
Christmas 2: The New Flat Screen


Also, I had the weirdest dream last night that Obama came over to my apartment to hang out (naturally he would want to) and I really wanted to go to the bike shop, but he ate a whole root beer bottle...like the whole glass bottle...so I had to do the Heimlich...and then the paparazzi took many pictures...Hmmm...political metaphor?

Misnomer

Real Names I'm Glad I Don't Have:

Johnny Barfuss
Billy Butts
Misty Balls (from FCHD department; no, really)
Nancy Anne Siancy
Misty Oceanspray
Joseph Stalin


So, while there may be 100,000 "Samantha Nelson"s, it could be worse. Samie Barfuss wouldn't get me any further.

*Sorry if you're reading this and you find your name on the list.