-A few bits of wisdom teeth are not as smart as you think.
-Don’t ever try to drown an Olympian diver—or if you’ve killed him some other way, don’t try to cover it up by saying he drowned. However, if the man you’ve killed is a groundskeeper, a maintenance man, or John Deere, “He fell into the wood chipper” might do just fine.
-A small skip from the truth might save you from having to hear an anecdote you’re sure will be boring anyway. “Have I told you that story about the time I lost my bookmark?” “Um, yes. I'm sure you have...”
-Shrieks of euphoria are usually not ok after 9 pm, even in the extenuating circumstances of your magical ring rolling back to you once again from the depths of a Kleenex heap and a sweet, sweet reunion in your sock drawer.
-Girls who like pink are a special breed. Is it nature or nurture? I suppose the soft sciences can never tell us…at least ethically…
-Lungs have the worst job ever. Worse than sewage divers, CD case makers, floor managers of tuna-dump factories, and flight attendants combined. Thankless seconds turn into thankless months, sometimes stretching for over 80 years. In-out-in-out-oxygen-carbon dioxide-ogygen-carbon dioxide. While I sympathize, I wouldn’t think lungs would be great conversationalists. Not much for breadth of knowledge.
-And like a deep, sweet breath after months of entrapment at the sewage-tuna-hair burning factory, Super Dell left us, with little grace and no dignity.
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